Caregiving is not for Sissies: PART II
This is who we want for a caregiver!! Is that too much to ask?
Okay, so where did we leave off? A crappy caregiver who seemed sketchy and didn’t know how to cook eggs or flush a toilet. Yeah. No. Goodbye! She wound up calling in sick for her last day anyway, so we definitely made the right decision!
I notified the agency to tell them things weren’t working out with this woman. I wasn’t mean about it; I just said it wasn’t a good fit. Of course, agencies loving their paperwork as they do, asked me a billion questions regarding this particular caregiver, and what my “ideal” caregiver would look like to me.
I said I needed someone strong, empathetic, and kind. Someone who preferably had experience working with an ALS patient. Someone who was a self-starter and saw things that needed to be done and did them without having to ask. Light cooking skills. Light housekeeping skills. And basically, the person I was looking for was Mary Poppins! Hahaha!
The woman from the agency said, “well … um … it might be a little while before I can make that match.” I said, “fine. I just want the perfect person. Take your time.”
But the problem is we didn’t have time. Minke’s disease is progressing, and he’s losing strength. So he can no longer contribute to helping in any way to make those transfers, mainly out of his wheelchair and onto a commode or toilet.
Last week, I had to use the Hoyer Lift (now come to be termed the Horror Lift) and I did manage to get Minke back in bed, but he never made it to the bathroom. The next day, I got him to the bathroom, and onto the toilet, but I couldn’t get him back in the chair. I had to call 911, and Todd, the fireman, and his crew, who have been here multiple times, came over to save the day. They know us now. We’re regulars.
So, along with dealing with Minke’s limitations, we are now dealing with mine. Let’s face it; I’m an old lady. Not in the best shape. My arthritis has been progressing over the last couple of years and it’s getting worse as we speak. And I have no strength. I think the fact that I was able to lift Minke at all up until now, was sheer will. But my body is broken, and I can’t do it anymore.
Enter Molly …
We knew Molly when we lived at our other house. I used to order CBD balm from a local company which worked wonders for my arthritis. Sometimes, I could pick up the balm at a local dispensary, but mostly I would order it from their website. Molly used to work for this company and one time, after receiving my order, she said she was going to be in my neighborhood and could drop off the product. Cool!
This stuff is AMAZING!!!
And that’s how I met Molly. Who, from the moment I met her, I loved her. It’s hard not to. She’s sunshine on a blue-sky day personified.
When Molly let me know she was leaving her job at the company, I was sad I wouldn’t see her anymore. But I still used the product. To this day, I use their product. This is not a commercial for Rescue Rub, I just really love how much it soothes me.
And then, sort of randomly, about a month ago, I got a text from Molly. She said she was in my neighborhood and asked how we were doing. Molly knew Minke had ALS, but the last time she saw him, he was still walking and being his good ol’-self.
I wrote back and told her we had moved. That Minke’s ALS had progressed dramatically and I was on the verge of losing my mind as his sole caregiver. She asked if there was anything she could do. I love this woman! As a matter of fact, I could use help chauffering Minke to the VA for a couple of appointments. Did she happen to have any experience with a wheelchair van?
And VOILA! Turns out Molly was a caregiver for a small boy with cerebral palsy for five years. She did, indeed, drive a wheelchair van. I was astounded! Would she be available to take Minke to his appointments? YES!
Molly drove Minke to two appointments that week. But the notable thing here is that there was a bit of an issue at one of the appointments. (Too long and boring to go into, but the fact is, Molly advocated for Minke, got angry at the assholes on Minke’s behalf, and displayed this Mama Bear protective mentality, that up until now, I felt I was the only one who possessed this in regard to Minke’s health.
Minke and I discussed and we knew we needed to ask Molly if she was interested and available in working for us. The timing was right, the goddesses were smiling down upon us, and we did, in fact, manifest our own Mary Poppins. Now known as Molly Poppins!
Molly Poppins! Of course she has a photo of herself in this costume!!!
Molly worked for us this entire week, and I don’t know how I lived without her. She’s practically perfect in every way. There’s just one glitch. Of course there is. Nothing is easy!
The aforementioned Caregiving Agency was paying the caregivers they sent to us. But they send shitty caregivers. So, do we accept shitty caregivers into our home to take care of my precious Minke, or do we fork out the dough from our own pockets, and get the very best? No brainer, right? We are trying to find ways to get Molly a stipend or to get her hired by the agency to just work for us, but we’ve been running into some roadblocks.
Regardless, I’m bound and determined to find a way to make it work. Minke trusts Molly. Molly is super strong, super smart, and has masseuse training, and she is always laughing. Zelda loves her, I love her, and she makes fabulous eggs! There is no discussion here. We are keeping her. Forever. And if anyone has any great suggestions on how we can continue to pay for her services, please let me know in the comments. I’ve put a lot of messages out to a lot of different places, and hope something will come through. But in the meantime, we have an exceptional caregiver who has definitely become part of our family. And I couldn’t be more grateful!
Our beautiful Molly! She’s one of the good ones!! ❤❤